Per Anhalter durch meine Galaxis - Gedanken und Geschichten nicht nur von dieser Welt

"The following statement is false:
The previous statement is true.
Welcome to our corner of the universe

Anonymous
Seefra Denizen
CY 10210"
(Andromeda: The Past is Prolix)

Freitag, 12. April 2013

Meat Eaters Live Longer

Just for the fun of it, I translated one of my very own short stories into English. This was triggered by a ... well ... rather religious question my first-born asked me one morning before rushing off to school, leaving me with that image in my brain!



Meat Eaters Live Longer

    "Oh, not fruit again!"
    "Yes, darling, but what else am I supposed to serve?"
    "How should I know? Just think of something!"
    Mumbling unintelligible words, the young man marched away, leaving his wife where she was, sitting in front of an assortment of delicious fruit, which she had arranged for their meal.
    She sighed and disappointedly gazed at the slices of pineapple she had carefully decorated with little cubes of kiwi and some cherries. Finally she stood up and strolled off into the opposite direction.
    Lately, her husband was always whingeing about the food. But she totally sympathised with him. She herself was getting sick and tired of this fruit diet they had been put on. The problem was, she had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to dish up instead for herself and her beloved.
    Lost in thoughts she dandered through the garden, when suddenly she realised that she had reached an area where she had never been before.
    'Oh dear, this is where we aren't supposed to …' she thought and was about to turn around, when she heard a voice close by.
    "Hey, sweetie."
    She stopped and looked around.
    "Yes, you, my sweetie pie," the voice spoke again.
    She folded her arms and replied: "Only one person is allowed to call me sweetie pie. And that's not you, for sure. Whoever you are."
    "Why don't you move a little closer, baby, and you will be able to see me."
    She rolled her eyes. "Baby? Now that does it!" Driven by curiosity, however, she took a few steps towards this magnificent tree, with its full fruits invitingly hanging from luscious green branches.
    "Do you know what this is?" the voice asked.
    "No. And I don't care. First of all I want to know who you are. Or else I'm out of here."
    "Look up, honey."
    She stepped up to the trunk and gazed into the sweet-smelling treetop. "Eeeek!" she screeched. "What on earth are YOU?"
    "That's irrelevant," the voice whispered, while its owner slowly moved down from the tree towards the woman. "It's way more interesting to talk about what I can do for you."
    "And what is it you can do for me?" the woman asked.
    "Do you see these fruits?"
    "I'm not blind, you know," she spat up into the tree.
    "These fruits," said the voice, whose owner was now level with the woman's face, "sweet and lush, juicy but firm and ambrosial. Just like you, my precious, with your voluptuous, round …"
    "HEY," the woman called out. "Hold your horses, will you? I better go and get my husband." She turned around and walked a few steps away from the tree.
    "Wait a second," the creature murmured from the lowest branch. "Don't you want to bring him a little something? A present? Something delicious?"
    The woman snorted. "Delicious? It's nothing but fruit again."
    "Yesss, but this is a special kind of fruit."
    "Oh really? I will tell you what's so special about it. It's POISONOUS!"
    "Yesss, I see. You have been told, that you shall not eat this fruit, because it is supposed to be poisonous, right?"
    The woman slowly returned to the tree. "That's … right. So?"
    "That's a liiieee. If you eat this, you will become extremely clever and receive extraordinary powers. And that is what they want to prevent at all costs!"
    "Oh, is that so?" Curiously the woman examined one of the fruits which hung pretty low.
    "Sssure. If you eat thissss fruit, you will become immortal!"
    The woman stepped closer, alternately looking at the fruit and the creature, dangling from the neighbouring branch.
    "So, what you're saying is, that when I eat this fruit, I will be immortal?"
    "But yessss, sssweetheart. Would I lie to you?"
    She gave a shrug. "Well, one of you must be lying in any case," she mumbled.
    "What'sss that you sssay?" the creature asked.
    "Oh, nothing. Tell me … have you eaten any of this fruit?"
    "Me, er ... no, why?"
    "Oh well, just asking," the woman replied and plucked the lowest-hanging fruit, which was heavy and firm in her hand. She lifted it to her nose, then she held it up in against the sunlight, beholding for a short while its glistening colour, then bringing it down fast and hard.

*****

    "Never underestimate a hungry human girl ... baby," Eve thought, while she slowly turned the slit and disemboweled carcass of the serpent
over the fire.
    "Adam!" she called, "dinner's almost ready!"


copyright 29.02.2012 (English version 12.04.2013) Esther Koch





Robert's question was, btw:

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"Why on earth didn't that Eve eat the serpent instead of the apple?"


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